


Group hug

by spiffycups



Category: Baahubali (Movies)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-22
Updated: 2018-02-07
Packaged: 2018-12-18 16:10:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 10,449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11878089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spiffycups/pseuds/spiffycups
Summary: Modern AU group chat. Warnings for language.





	1. Chapter 1

[Bhalla has added Devasena to the groupchat- 'The Bad Boyz']

Devasena: you really think putting a z at the end makes you punk huh

Bhalla: yes ofc bitchez

Amarendra: hi dear .. how r u... looking gud

[Devasena has left the group chat]

\----------

 

Amarendra to The Bad Boyz: asshole you stole my phone

Bhalla: yes

Amarendra: you're so dead

 

Amarendra to Devasena : Hi Devasena. Bhalla stole my phone. That wasn't me. Sorry?

Devasena: sure.

[Amarendra is typing]

Devasena: and I found the portal to Asgard

 

Amarendra to The Bad Boyz: you asshOLE 

Bhalla: lulz

 

\----------

Amarendra: confess to her

Bhalla: or what bitch

Amarendra: I'm adding Indira to the group chat

Bhalla: you wouldn't dare

Amarendra: try me 

Bhalla: ya girl ya problem

[Amarendra has added Indira to the group chat 'Handsome Muscle Boys']

Bhalla to Amarendra: please baahu stay put ill DM your chick

Amarendra: she's not "my chick"

Bhalla: ...please don't 

Amarendra: she's the reason the sun rises, the force that moves the earth, the 

[Bhalla has removed Amarendra from the group chat]

Amarendra to Bhalla: you really didn't think that through did you

 

Indira to Handsome Muscle Boys: so, just you and me then Bhalla?

 

Bhalla to Amarendra: pls come back

Amarendra: screenshot your apology

[Bhalla is attaching a picture]

*Hey sugar- I nicked your bf's phone. That was on me.

oh

yep

k cool*

 

Bhalla : happy now?

Bhalla: ??

Bhalla: where did you go

Bhalla: did you faint because she didn't fight me on the bf thing

\--------------

[Bhalla has added Devasena and Amarendra to the group chat- 3 nerds and a babe]

Indira: whos the babe

Indira: is it Deva

Devasena: damn right 

Indira: called it

Amarendra: party at my house Tonight 9pm bring snacks

Bhalla: shits gonna be lit

Devasena: ... Is the

Devasena: is the party anyone except the ppl in this group chat

Devasena: guys?

Devasena: dammit

\------------

Indira to Devasena: do u like baahubali

Devasena: duh

Indira: is it because he's a handsome muscle Boy

Devasena: wait why

Indira: because bhalla's a handsome muscle Boy and I'm catching feelings

Devasena: I'm coming over

Indira: choco chip ice cream

Devasena: and pizza

Indira: ilysm babe

\------------

Bhalla to Amarendra: what's going on with you and your chick

Amarendra: SHES NOT MY CHICK she's a fantastic woman and a smart talented

Bhalla: cool don't care . what's going on

Amarendra: .... I love her?

Bhalla: cool cool

Amarendra: why

Amarendra: bhalls temme why

Amarendra: what are you going to do oh my god 

Amarendra: I'll pay your bills this month if you don't do it

Bhalla: I'm good

\---------------

 


	2. Hung over and hung up on each other

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after

Devasena to Party in the USA: Dudes I can't find my phone

Bhalla: Give it time

Devasena: I'm Freaking Out

Bhalla: yeah you'll be fine

Devasena: did you take my phone ill fight u

Bhalla: if i help you find it you owe me one alright?

Devasena: only if you didnt take it in the first place

Bhalla: deal. shake on it.

Devasena: ???? how

Bhalla: just nod

Devasena: done

Bhalla: alright now that you owe me one- sugar how are you texting me

Indira: bwahaha perfect set up

Devasena: :( i deserve that one

Indira: aw dont be sad babe whatever he wants it cant be  _that_  bad

 

\-----------

Indira to Bhalla: whats your plan

Bhalla: its a secret

Indira: is it a secret like you having a fight club poster under your bed secret

Bhalla: ??? i dont have a poster what are you talking about

Indira: lmao i saw it

Indira: so whats your plan

Bhalla: still a secret

[Indira has renamed the group chat- we dont talk about bhalla's fight club poster]

Devasena: thank god we dont

Devasena: stupid ass movie

Bhalla: ILL FIGH T YOU WHAT DI DYOU SAYYYY

Indira: where s amarendra

Bhalla: ?? he isnt here where is he

Bhalla: oh my god did he die

Bhalla: my moms going to kill me how much did he drink last night damn where did he go

Bhalla: WHERE IS HE

Indira: deva's been pretty quiet

Bhalla: ... 

Indira: ...

Bhalla: lets never talk about this 

Indira: you bet

Devasena: we didnt do anything oh my god

Bhalla: my eyes are bleeding

Devasena: i swear

Devasena: we hung out and ate and talked and then we slept

Indira: ://

Devasena: In Different Beds omfg what is wrong with you two

Bhalla: ....just stop

\-------------

 

Indira to Devasena: puhleeease tell me you got some

Devasena; ofc not we just talked

Devasena: and ate and hung out

Indira: i see no full stop

Devasena: ok then we made out

Indira: KNEW IT

Devasena: he's still asleep we were so drunk idk if he'll remember it

Indira: chill babe he wont forget

Indira: tell. me. everything.

Devasena: .... what if he doesnt remember? what if

Indira: deep breaths

Devasena: wjaat if he sys hees npt intereestsd im comign there rn

[Incoming call from Indira]

 

\------------

Amarendra to Hangover hurts we're never drinking again: so that was fun

Bhalla: nope. byeeee

Amarendra: ?? the party was good wasn't it

Bhalla: mate?

Indira: yeah amarendra thanks for having us :)

\----------

Indira to Devasena: babe you driving?

Indira: babe listen dont be upset okay?

Indira: so i think he really got drunk 

Indira: but its okay its all good i Know for a fact he's head over heels for you

Devasena: he cant forget our first kiss !!!!!!!!!!

Indira: okay you need to meet him and talk it out

Devasena: and say ?? what?? exactly???

Indira: you know im going to be crafting your texts anyway why worry

Indira: i gotchu dont worry

Devasena: go ahead 

Devasena: nothing matters anyway. im going to die in traffic.

\-----------

Bhalla to Amarendra: mate

Amarendra: be home in 10. need anything?

Bhalla: im so confused rn

Amarendra: maybe a coffee will help. my hangover's killing me

Bhalla: ???? okkk alright see you here

Bhalla: also dont use your phone until you get here

\----------

Indira to Bhalla: dude

Bhalla: dude

Indira: dude!!

Bhalla: i know!!

Indira: and?

Bhalla: he's clueless

Indira: she's broken

Bhalla: alright help them text each other?

Indira: planned it already down to the punctuation

Bhalla: haha i love you

Indira: Alright

Bhalla: I DIDNT MEAN TO SAY IT THAT WAY

[Missed call from Bhalla]

Bhalla: Answer my call!

Bhalla: Indira pick up! 

Bhalla: Please!!

Bhalla: Alright i do, okay? i do love you and i wanted to tell you in a better place and time with flowers and chocolates but i messed it up please dont be mad

Bhalla: i know you're getting these texts

 

Bhalla: it's been half an hour. please. 

Indira: oh i just got these! sorry i was a little held up. okay we're good.

Bhalla: We're "good"? 

Indira: okay she's here gtg ttyl

Bhalla: well okay its not like im hanging onto my phone unblinkingly. no big deal, ill just wait for you then.

Indira: ofc not go help Amarendra write his texts

Bhalla: ok

\--------------


	3. Cupid strikes

Indira: Where are you?! What's taking you so long?

Devasena: traffic

Indira: An HOUR?! 

Indira: come on where are you really?

Devasena: traffic

 

Indira to Bhalla: are you still tracking everyone's phones?

Bhalla: ofc who do you need 

Indira: where is she

Bhalla: near .. the beach?? what why is she at the beach?

Indira: you get your brother ill get her

Bhalla: deal.

Bhalla: and we'll talk later?

Indira: sure thing love you bye

Indira: ... i'm assuming no reply for fifteen minutes means you're in shock

Bhalla: i love you too babe

\------------

Amarendra to Bhalla: Let me in bro I dont have my keys

Bhalla: coming right down. put your phone away until I'm there.

Amarendra: lol why

Bhalla: JUST DO IT sheesh

 

\-----------

Bhalla to Indira: okay he's here and he has coffees, a breakfast box and flowers. None of it is for me. 

Bhalla: not bad eh

Indira: dont get ahead of yourself. 

 

Indira: i'm here. 

Indira: she's been crying dude

Bhalla: Operation 'Unfuck the Status Quo' is a Go.

 

\-----------

 Amarendra to Devasena: Hi!

Amarendra: I love you. Can I open with that? I'm going to open with that.

Amarendra: I didnt want to call you because i WOULD open with that and I dont want to say it for the first time when I can't see your face.

Amarendra: So, I love you, and I will do anything to keep you happy, and I knew we'd have crazy hangovers today so I woke up and went to get you breakfast and some cute flowers (because i'm not a very good cook and your apartment has no flowers), But you were gone! So i thought i'd get them and then meet you wherever you are.

Amarendra: Last night was brilliant, I've never connected with anyone like I connected with you. I love your face when you say things, your mind for being so sharp and kind at the same time, your perspective is ... okay Bhalla says I should shut up now and say the rest later (yeah he's here, he says hi too!)

Amarendra: so can I come meet you?

Devasena: Cafe by the Sea, ten minutes.

Amarendra: Awesome! <3 i love you!

\----------

 

[Bhalla renamed the group chat- Im getting all the coffees just come quickly]

Bhalla to Indira: hey double date or separate tables?

Indira: guess, genius.

Bhalla: alright two tables it is!

 

\----------

Bhalla to Devasena: Sugar you're gonna be okay, okay? I'm there if you want to rant about the guy, or hit someone, or have someone bring you pizza and help you move in. 

Devasena:  ????

Bhalla: dont kid yourself you thought about it dont act innocent

Devasena: true, but dont call me out on that until he asks

Bhalla: he would have asked on text if i hadn't stopped him.

Devasena: see you in five :)

 

\----------

 

 

[Indira renamed the group chat 'THE AMARSENA WEDDING IS ACTUALLY HAPPENING YALL]

 

\----------

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> should i write more?


	4. Dual Proposals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amarsena is a sailing ship, lets see where the Bhadra ship is

[Indira renamed the group chat 'THE AMARSENA WEDDING IS ACTUALLY HAPPENING YALL]

Indira: Celebratory party tonight, my place at 10

Bhalla: Should I bring an overnight bag? ;)

Indira: Should my parents kill you? :)

Bhalla: ... is this a "seek-your-approval" family meet Indira

Indira: no, this is a celebratory party for the #amarsena wedding

Amarendra: why did you tag it

Devasena: so it shows up on social media

Amarendra: i just googled it. it has no results. Indira dont be offended but i think you dont know social media very well

Devasena: lol ill explain later babe, drop it

Amarendra: But its not on google Deva!

Devasena: drop it

Bhalla: like its hot!!

Amarendra: ???

Bhalla:  #OldManAmarendra

Amarendra: why are you like this

\------------------

 

Bhalla: babe

Bhalla: babe

Bhalla: babe

Bhalla: babe are you there

Indira: wassup

Bhalla: what are we

Indira: im your girlfriend

Bhalla: and im your boyfriend?

Indira: id say so yes

Bhalla: do i get kissiees then

Indira: are you drunk ? its 4pm lol

Bhalla: buzzed. its happy hour. im warming up for the party tonight

Indira: its a dinner party theres no alcohol

Bhalla: i want _double_ kissiees then

Devasena: do you also want scratching behind the ears

Bhalla: shit wrong chat

 

\-----------------

 

Amarendra: do I wear formals

Bhalla: do you have formals

Amarendra: i have a tie

Bhalla: can you tie a tie

Amarendra: valid point

Amarendra: jeans it is!

 

\----------------

Bhalla: bro where are you? i've been making small talk with Deva's brother and he talks about nothing but stocks? 

Bhalla: i said hows the index and he's been prattling for fifteen (15) minutes

Indira: tell me what is an index

Bhalla: idk i read it in a paper once

Indira: when

Bhalla: i was wiping away ketchup from our coffee table and i saw it there okay

Devasena: ask him about interest rates. that should keep you going for another hour lol

Bhalla: do you want me to DIE  
  


Bhalla: where tf are you bro

Amarendra: omw

Amarendra: the florist just isnt good enough

Devasena: awwww

    Indira: awwwww

    Bhalla: awwwww

Bhalla: also What the Fuck

Bhalla: babe dw ill get you some too asap

Indira: i want peonies

Bhalla: this city??? does nNOT have horses?? i can only get you flowers

Devasena: @Indira serves you right for asking

 

\-----------------

Amarendra: im here im parking

Bhalla: thank God if i have to hear about taxes for another minute i will murder someone 

Bhalla: the man does not know about Liverpool but he knows about taxes

Bhalla: talk about priorities, huh :/

Devasena: precisely.

Bhalla: high five Deva!

Indira: babe stop she's making fun of you

 

Bhalla: why is there no music

Devasena: bc this is a meet the family party

Bhalla: !!! i asked!! and y'all said no this isnt a parents party!! and now it is!! :O

Indira: chill they're not really her parents

Bhalla: technicalities, technicalities

Bhalla: hey Deva how come the salad course never stops coming

Indira: .... they're vegetarians babe :(

[Bhalla renamed the group chat 'WHAT AM I MARRYING INTO']

Indira: he's marrying her

Indira: i can see how you would be confused but

Indira: the wedding is Theirs

Indira: not yours

 

Bhalla: ok so let's take "stock" of where we are

Indira: here we go 

Bhalla: the table has only fruits and leaves,

Bhalla: the man wont stop talking about bonds (and its not even the kinky kind),

Bhalla: the waiter keeps staring at me when i eat the starters with my hands,

Indira: he's the butler you cant call him a waiter

Bhalla: whatever

Bhalla: there's no music

Bhalla: and there's no booze

Bhalla: i want kissiees to make up for these injustices

Devasena: maybe its the right time to tell you we're vegetarians and **also** teetotallers. we never drink, or smoke, ever. 

[Bhalla renamed the group chat 'AMEE RUN']

 

Amarendra: would you all **please** stop texting under the table 

Indira: yes

Indira: yes sir!

Devasena: sure thing babe

Devasena: sorry we didnt realise

Devasena: that it was 

Devasena: annoying you

Devasena: we'll stop now

Indira: yeah!!

Indira: same brah

Bhalla: sorry bro

Bhalla: lol he's switched off his phone guys  
  


\-------------------

 

[Indira renamed the group chat 'Sorry you couldn't stay over']

Amarendra: that went well

Bhalla: next time you're sitting next to the bore

Devasena: hey thats my brother you're talking about

Bhalla: so

Devasena: play nice or he wont show you our gun collection next time

Bhalla: he has a fucking gun collection and you told me to talk to him about _indexes_?! deva you aren't getting any wedding presents from me!

Indira: *Indices

Bhalla: i knew that

Bhalla: autocorrect

Amarendra: as in, you corrected autocorrect from indices, to indexes

Bhalla: do you want to hear about liquidity deficit

 

Bhalla: sugar pleeeeeeeease can i see his gun collection :)

Devasena: let me think about it

Bhalla: ill walk your dog for a week

Devasena: ill show you 1 pistol

Bhalla: fine! 2 weeks

Devasena: and take me shopping

Bhalla: deal

Indira: NOOO

Amarendra: sucker

Devasena: deal

Bhalla: ... can i ... 

Devasena: a gentleman does not go back on his word

 

\-------------

Bhalla to Amarendra: how much does ya chick shop for for wedding stuff

Amarendra: :( forget about the PS , the car stereo and the new leather seats

Bhalla: !!

Amarendra: and the down payment on your new bike

Bhalla: she better have seven rifles ugh

Amarendra: she has her own shooting range

Bhalla: XD when can we start im ready!!!!

 

\---------------

 

Indira to 'This caterer wants to eat us out of home and hearth' : it's the Big Day!

Indira: I'm so happy

Indira: i've waited for this day for months

Amarendra: same :)

Devasena: thanks guys

Bhalla: are you two ready

Indira: oh im not coming. its you and D. im getting Amarendra fitted for his suits.

Bhalla: my bike then?

Devasena: and get the bags couriered home?

Amarendra: good luck you two! im rooting for you! get home in one piece

 

\-----------------

[Devasena has removed Bhalla from the groupchat]

Devasena: i wanna talk to you two about this boy

Devasena: i love him???

Devasena: !!!!!  :') <3

Devasena: the shop girl said my hips are too wide for their skirts

Devasena: idek it didnt matter, but he got her fired for being unprofessional!!!??

Devasena: then re-hired bc he didn't want her to struggle w/o a job :')

Indira: isnt he the sweetest

Devasena: yes! he is!!

 

Amarendra: have some mercy on him Deva :) he's been saving up for months for that bike

Devasena: oh im paying for it all

Devasena: he doesnt know

Devasena: he's stopped looking at price tags now after they told him all of it starts at 35K

Indira: lmao he's going to have a heart attack . how much have you picked up now

Devasena: we're at 90K and counting

Devasena: we're going for the jewelry next :)))))

Indira: you Bitch!!! XD

Devasena: serves him right for dissing my brother

Amarendra: i love you have i told you that

 

[Devasena has added Bhalla to the group chat]

Bhalla: why was i evicted in the first place

Devasena: my hand slipped

 

\----------------

Bhalla to Indira: hey will you have dinner with me tonight?

Bhalla: the new greek place next to the suiting store

Indira: sure but why

Bhalla: because you deserve so much

Bhalla: i havent even got you flowers, or chocolates, or gifts of any sort

Bhalla: and here i am shopping for your cousin/bff

Bhalla: babe i havent even said i love you to your face

Bhalla: dinner date tonight? ill be in my best

Indira: :) Yes!

\-------------

 

Indira to Devasena: we must protect him at all costs

Devasena: i know

Devasena: he just cried in the shop

Indira: ??? about what he said to me?

Devasena: yeah but it started when i tried on the gold and purple outfit i showed you , the one with the lace sash

Devasena: so i tried it on and showed him

Devasena: he just kept staring and staring until the shopgirl came and stood by me in case he lashed out or sth

Indira: lmao keep going

Devasena: then he started crying, just, like, out of the blue

Devasena: so he went, "amee doesnt deserve you sugar, you're so beautiful, idec how much this one is, ill sell my jag if i have to buy you this"

Indira: his JAG??? he said he'll sell the jag???? oh my god

Devasena: yeah!! now we're on a break from the shopping so he can catch his breath

Indira: where are you

Devasena: ice cream :)

Indira: man im such a lucky woman

\----------------

Amarendra to 'Devasena is a GoddessTM' : guys are you done? i have plans tonight with her

Bhalla: nearing the billing counter

Bhalla: i wish id prayed more as a child

Bhalla: its at 66K and they've only done like 2 clothes

Bhalla: wow 

Bhalla: i hope the shooting range has targets that explode and scream when you hit them

Bhalla: we're 5 outfits down and its at 135K

Bhalla: do they have a kalashnikov?

Indira: deep breaths

Bhalla: ok we're ringing up at 340K

Bhalla: the store manager just gave her a necklace "on the house"

Bhalla: rip my wallet

Bhalla: ill miss you, bike

Devasena: fucking trust fund bitches whining about it as if you're on a salary

Devasena: also, i said you'll be taking me shopping, not paying for my shopping.

Indira: THATS RIGHT YOU'RE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DONT NEED NO MAN'S SALARY

[Devasena has sent a photo]

[Amarendra has changed the group icon]

Indira: that's got to be the most dramatic expression of shock i have seen

 

\--------------------

Indira to Devasena: ok?

[Indira has attached a photo]

Devasena: he might faint

Devasena: he's already emotionally drained today i'd say :P

Indira: tru

Indira: the red?

Devasena: the shiny red?

Indira: yep That red

Devasena: he might propose

Indira: im ReadyTM

Devasena: That red it is!

Devasena: i can't tell you how happy i am

Indira: me too babe me too

 

\----------------------

Devasena to Indira: did he?

Indira: he did. he did. he bought roses and chocolates and of course he had the waiter set up for the entrance

Indira: so i had the hostess cancel all of her staff's cooperation 

Indira: then when he asked, i said no. i.. i just cant deva!

Devasena: ok babe im on your side. if you're not ready you're not ready. you did the right thing.

Indira: he looked So CRUSHED

Indira: im such a monster

Indira: but i couldnt! i cant marry him im not ready for marriage!

Indira: he was going to cry deva

Devasena: you did the right thing! you're both too young girl 

Indira: he asked me if i was seeing someone else

Indira: how could he even THINK that

Indira: if that was why i said no

Indira: i cant! he's the only one i want

Indira: but i dont want to marry him just yet

Devasena: he's just come here

Devasena: ill text you surreptitiously but im still here

Devasena: you haven't broken up have you? why is he looking so devastated?

Indira: he really thought i would say yes

Indira: the boy hasn't had anyone love him properly. he doesn't know how to love himself. i cant live with someone who's learning himself it's FAR too early deva

Indira: i want him to be more emotionally mature. im willing to be his gf, but i want to wait, do you get me?

Indira: deva he's the one for me but he's not yet ready

Indira: and neither am i

Devasena: babe will you move in together

Indira: ??? idk tbh!!! 

Devasena: he's going to ask you tomorrow

Indira: damn his optimism. stall him.

Devasena: done. 

Indira: im just exhausted deva. im going to crash. 

 

\-----------------

Devasena to 'Only the invitations have to go out now': hello family

Amarendra: hello Devasena

Devasena: fine day today

Amarendra: yes it is!

Devasena: perfect weather

Devasena: would be nice to see the city! :)

Bhalla: have fun

Devasena: oh im not going without my shopping partner

Bhalla: im sick i have to sleep

Amarendra: he's not sick he's coming  he just changed his mind :)

Devasena: okay! so the four of us meet at TeaTree?

Indira: I have to work today, i'll catch you later :)

Amarendra: hmm no i'm giving you the day off, dear employee 

Indira: no i have meetings today with the Annapurana people i can't skip it.

Amarendra: oh didn't i tell you, they rescheduled because their boss isnt in town

Devasena: cool so we're all meeting at TeaTree! great see you there

\-------------

Indira to Devasena: you're not subtle at all

Indira: it's only been four days

Indira: i can't see him

Devasena: precisely why you should. you have to work through this.

Devasena: relationships are Work, kid. you gotta struggle through the hard parts.

Indira: valid point but it's so intimidating.

Devasena: can i tell u something

Devasena: Baahu asked me to move in with him two hours after we met

Devasena: then again, one week later

Indira: which you did

Devasena: i did, but not because he asked twice. The second time, he told me he had rushed me the first time, and apologised for cornering me

Devasena: and he explained his ideas in detail, and gave me an option without pressurising me

Devasena: if Bhalla doesn't understand what went wrong, you must explain to him

Devasena: im not saying you gotta do all the emotional work in your relationship, but help him where he falls down. that's the right thing to do.

Indira: i needed this.

Indira: thanks

Devasena: see you there?

Indira: yep

\--------------

Bhalla to Devasena: please i cant come today

Devasena: its been 4 days are you going to hide in shame forever?

Devasena: you have to work through this. did you ask her why she said no, or did you throw reasons at her and accuse her of things?

Bhalla: i cant face her

Devasena: apologise. if you love her, respect her enough to apologise to her.

Devasena: then move ahead. its not the end of the world, its a small thing that's all. :)

 

Amarendra to Bhalla: ill pick you up

Bhalla: you and your wife need not meddle in my love life

Amarendra: i know

Bhalla: she can't keep her nose out of our business and you tag along with her now like a lost dog

Bhalla: i can manage my own life i dont need you two poking around in it

Bhalla: man gets one chick to say yes and he thinks he's the best relationship guru in the world

Amarendra: okay

Amarendra: im picking you up at 3

Bhalla: okay thanks. 

Amarendra: do you need clothes

Bhalla: yes. a shirt.

Bhalla: also pants if you can spare a pair.

Bhalla: do you have clean socks?

\-----------------


	5. We resume after tea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wedding countdown!

Bhalla to 'Two weeks to go': Can i bring a plus one?

Indira: ?? i'm already invited babe

Bhalla: its not you

Indira: im sure your teddy doesn't have to eat, you can just bring it along

Bhalla: Please do not speak of Rocket Blaster as an "it".

Devasena: sure thing kid bring your +1

Indira: who is your plus one

Bhalla: thanks sugar

Indira: who is it!!

\----------------

Indira to 'Eleven days to go': who's in charge of the playlist

Bhalla: the Queen herself

Indira: ??? she's going to be at the turntable and on the dance floor??

Bhalla: *me

Indira: dammit I'll get Mudhra to do it

Bhalla: **good

\--------------

 

Amarendra to 'Ten days to go': hey Indira your parents are coming right?

Indira: yeah

Amarendra: where are they staying

Indira: at our house

Amarendra: cool

Amarendra: the two bedroom house where you, Deva, Mudhra, Lakshmi, Veeru and Naren and Deva's dog are staying?

Indira: *at your house

Amarendra: oh you mean the fourteen bedroom monstrosity where its me, Bhalla and his parents?

Indira: yep!

 

\--------------

 

Devasena to 'Nine days to go': I'm sorry I can't do this.

Devasena: the hairstylist can't do my hair its too long, the caterer can't serve half and half laddoos, the tailor is keeping my skirts hostage without ransom, Amarendra drove a nail through his hand trying to put up a painting, my period's coming anyday, my brother hasn't flown in yet, I'm going mad, and i dont want babies while you do

Devasena: I'm sorry I'm calling off the wedding

Bhalla: SUGAR NO!

Devasena: good bye it was nice knowing you lets act like we're strangers if we ever meet again

Amarendra: owei238ru284sdgfdg813r

Amarendra: i llveo yeo pleasee arry me

Amarendra: im pamickkingg

Indira: baahu Sit Down. Your wedding is on track.

Indira: Dev, babe i got this. go shower and eat some pineapples.

Indira: Bhalla you pack a bag and I'll pick you up while dropping her off there. They're staying there, we're staying here.

[Indira renamed the group 'A Weekend to Unwind']

 

\----------------

 

Amarendra to 'One Week left': Guys

Amarendra: Guys guys guys

Bhalla: I can tell you've got 'a great idea'

Amarendra: I've got a great idea

Bhalla: proceed

Amarendra: okay so you know how you need 2 people to sign as witnesses?

Amarendra: so i was walking past the Registrar's Office

Bhalla: like we all do

Amarendra: and it was totally empty, they don't have anything on today

Indira: so your brilliant idea? its 8AM. we're not even awake yet ugh. type faster.

Amarendra: let's go get married now, and you guys can sign as witnesses.

Indira: no

Bhalla: no

Amarendra: come on guys!

Devasena: no

Amarendra: it'll be a fantastic surprise!

\--------------

Indira to Devasena: I'm guessing the last one must have been amazing for him to get out, run to the office, run back and text us

Devasena: no comments

Indira: rock it

\--------------

 

Devasena to 'Five days to go': This is maddening. Someone take me away.

Amarendra: Your wish, my command. We're going clubbing tonight, and driving down to the beach house. You guys in?

Indira: ofc 

Bhalla: packing swimsuit rn

Devasena: ??? you go skinny dipping. it's scarred me forever. what swimsuit do you even have?

Bhalla: Gucci Summer'17

Devasena: you just picked up those words from my wedding shopping didn't you?

Indira: lmao caught

Bhalla: did not

Devasena: did too

Bhalla: did not

Devasena: did too

Indira: stop

Bhalla: did not

Indira: do me instead

Bhalla: coming right over.

Devasena: kids these days...

Amarendra: want some?

Devasena: what, kids?

Amarendra: practice, at any rate.

Devasena: shut the fuck up

Amarendra: make me

Indira: WOULD YOU PLEASE FLIRT SOMEWHERE ELSE MY EYES ARE BLEEDING

Amarendra: if you're this discouraging you can't be godmother

Bhalla: i'm still godfather tho right

Amarendra: that will only change over my dead body

Bhalla: oh good

\---------------------

Devasena to 'Its today': I'm ready to come out.

Amarendra: i've told you I fully support that you're bisexual. you don't have to come out everyday.

Bhalla: wait my hair's not done yet. don't come out until i'm there too!! 

Devasena: its okay babe take your time

Bhalla: thank god for sugar

Amarendra: gang

Amarendra: guess who just walked in

Indira: is it Rajini? tell me it's Rajini

Amarendra: what why would Rajini come we didn't even invite him

Indira: are you telling me you could have had Rajini at your wedding if only you asshats had sent him an invitation? I'm going to kill you Amarendra Baahubali!!

Amarendra: anyway

Amarendra: KATTAPPA IS HERE!

Bhalla: oh good my plus one is here

[Amarendra has sent a photo]

Bhalla: whooohooo the party has begun!

Devasena: can i come out now

Devasena: im so bored

Devasena: im only really marrying you for your money, dude. you know that right?

Amarendra: yes and i still love you

Devasena: lol sucker

Amarendra: Bhalla's here. We're waiting for you love.

Bhalla: yeah come here sugar.......asklfjsdfdsgshsdfsdlfjdaskfj 

Bhalla: dont use your fucking phone you're getting married!

Devasena: i just asked my husband and he says it's not a problem

Devasena: suck it kiddo

\-----------------------

 

indira to '#Amarsena': I bought a membership card to Henley's.

Bhalla: I'm already a gold star member.

Indira: explain

Bhalla: well the card was supposed to be a gift to the kid so i loaded it but then i actually saw the store

Bhalla: and Rocket Launcher has 24 new friends

 

Amarendra: we have been married for 3.5 hours.

Devasena: yeah shut up

Bhalla: just letting you know.

 

Indira: I will buy you a new house if you make me godmother.

Bhalla: we own half this state babe

Indira: a new car

Bhalla: ...

Indira: okay jewelryy

Amarendra: ...

Indira: fucking trust fund bitches

 

\-----------------

 

 

 


	6. payoff

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> group chat continues. i elaborated a bit more on whats their job: in Mahishmathi Enterprises, Amarendra is CFO, Devasena CEO (talk about a power couple), Bhalla COO and Indira is Chief Legal counsel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there's a few legal terms in here sorry i couldn't write without putting those in, but they aren't that important to the story it's ok if you skip them it will still make sense i promise

Indira to ‘we all know you watch bigg boss secretly baahu’: science expo Saturday evening

Bhalla: double date?

Devasena: yep we’re in

Amarendra: I don’t watch it secretly

Bhalla: I for one think the elimination process is incredibly unfair

Amarendra: its like they’re not even counting votes

[Indira has renamed the chat ‘Baahu openly watches bigg boss’]

Indira: how will I show my face in society now  

Indira: oh shame

Indira: bring the donkeys and the town crier

Amarendra: your annual bonus has mysteriously vanished

Indira: im suing

Bhalla: please no we don’t have any more money

Indira: im suing for unfair treatment in the workplace

Amarendra: like the time you fed the printer your sandwich so I couldn’t have Friday night off to make us a double date? Is it that level of unfair treatment yet?

Bhalla: im sorry!

Devasena: oops he said it

Bhalla: sugar **you** told him too??

Indira: y’all are SNITCHES and I hate all of you

Devasena: children. Focus. Science expo Saturday.

Bhalla: yes ma’am.

 

Bhalla to ‘Science expo today don’t forget and nap’: why are we going

Indira: because devasena said so

Bhalla: right yeah okay be there

 

Amarendra: this is excellent. It’s also very informative. You’re missing out on a lot! Come here quick.

Bhalla: that’s code for SAVE ME IM BORED AF

Amarendra: haha no what are you even talking about this is truly a wonderful presentation on magnetism

Amarendra: the presenter is quite attractive

Indira: pun!

Amarendra: high-5!

Indira: there’s an emoji for that

Amarendra: where

Indira: lol show you when I get there

Devasena: where are you btw?

Indira: traffic’s crawling

Devasena: -_-

Indira: promise! We’re on the way

Amarendra: ill **condense** what they said so far so you don’t miss anything

Indira: pun!

Amarendra: high-5!

Indira: emoji, baahu, emoji.

 

Devasena to ‘Star Trek is science enough’: Bhalla pay attention they’re going to bring in the flux capacitor now

Bhalla: jfsdfsjs are you for real

Devasena: we’re trying to take over the company that’s manufacturing them

Bhalla: are they gonna show us a flux capacitor

Devasena: if you behave

Bhalla: aint no rule against playing with my phone is there now

Devasena: act like the head dude you are

Bhalla: “head dude”

Bhalla: good fucking ceo we have. “head dude”.

Devasena: im gonna whoop your COO ass if you don’t shut up and pay attention now

 

Bhalla to ‘Devasena is a Liar’: im sorry we ever married you

Amarendra: um not to interrupt but only I married her

Bhalla: shut up and Sit Down

Bhalla: as I was saying before I was rudely interrupted, im sorry I ever married into your family. You’re a liar and a disgraceful person.

Bhalla: you should resign immediately, effective right now

Bhalla: I will have your things delivered home later

Indira: babe are you still mad they haven’t created a flux capacitor yet

Bhalla: I WAS GOING TO TRAVEL TO 3017

Amarendra: we’ll get you that as soon as they make it kiddo

Bhalla: you were no help at all you dogpoo don’t you dare talk to me

 

Devasena to ‘ _Dogpoo_?? what are we, 12??’: look I said Im sorry! You wouldn’t pay attention otherwise

Devasena: and I needed you to focus

Devasena: cuz we really wanna acquire them

Bhalla: garbage company those people don’t even have flux capacitors why do you want them

Devasena: they have the patent on the human flight simulator

Indira: with liftoff?

Devasena: yep!

Indira: you're KIDDING

Devasena: nope!

Devasena: still garbage, Bhalla?

Bhalla: dont distract me im looking up their patents history right now.

Amarendra: hah! I knew you cared about Mahishmathi Enterprises!

Bhalla: nah im just doing this so I can get the first wings

Devasena: ... just had to go say that, didn’t you?

 

 

Indira to ‘Is follicle the opposite of cuticle’: Baahu I need concert tickets. Buy me them.

Amarendra: im fairly certain im paying you a salary

Indira: you blocked my raise

Amarendra: you blocked my printer access

Indira: I gave you back your dumb printer access

Amarendra: after printing three copies of nekkid comics and laying them on the reception magazine stand

Indira: its 'naked' omg you’re a grown man

Indira: gimme my tickets

Amarendra: ha

 Amarendra: haha

Amarendra: hahaha

Amarendra: hahahaha

Amarendra: no

[Incoming call from Indira]

[Missed call from Indira]

Indira: I can see you’re online.

Amarendra: very observant!

Indira: what do you need

Amarendra: impress me. you need to earn your place in this company. people are beginning to talk- it seems more like a family business than a proper company and no one respects you for your skills in the workplace. so do it! impress me, if you can.

Devasena: good! Be creative too!

Bhalla: no support from my end im not taking sides

Indira: you're on, amarendra baahubali.

 

Devasena to ‘vasuki was colonized into becoming loch ness’: my brother is visiting us tomorrow night

Devasena: im calling family dinner.

Bhalla: this time im going to talk to him about guns. No more stocks baby, none for me!

Amarendra: maybe he’ll help us acquire SoarHigh. They’re okay with selling but their terms are awful… I haven’t been able to sleep for the last week. Im hoping jayavarma has some clout with them. Him and that chairman were college buddies I think… he should be able to help us. we should ask him tomo.

Devasena: yes that’s the plan

Bhalla: ooooohhhh No you don’t

Bhalla: im going to talk about guns and y’all are gonna open your mouth holes Only to eat. not one word. not one peep from yall!

Bhalla: if I hear one word out of any of you im dunking you in ice water tomorrow morning

Amarendra: it’s a strategic opportunity and a great way to learn new negotiation techniques bhalla

Bhalla: waking up via freezing water is a new technique for you I believe

 

 

Devasena to ‘baahu cries when dogs die in movies’: why is Indira not talking on the groupchat

Amarendra: she’s proving her mettle, working hard, nose to the grindstone

Amarendra: im proud of you! Keep going! Impress me!

Indira: Concert. Tickets.

Amarendra: if you bowl me over

Bhalla: she bowls everyone over

Bhalla: she’s smart that way

Bhalla: also brilliant

Bhalla: intelligence runs in her family I think

Bhalla: I wish I was half as smart

Devasena: you are

Bhalla: sugar! cheap shot!

Amarendra: can’t blame her if you’re the one giving openings like that

Bhalla: see, that’s what Indira would never do. She’d always find the best way to solve things.

Bhalla: like, she wouldn’t ever be outsmarted, do you get me?

[Devasena has removed Bhallaladeva from the groupchat]

Amarendra: thanks babe

Devasena: my soul feels lighter

 

Bhalla to Devasena: ADD ME BACK

Bhalla: I have a right to be there! Why’d you remove me???

Devasena: you know why

Bhalla: but but its unfair

Bhalla: you two live together

Bhalla: and he’s not your boss

Bhalla: so Indira and I gotta work all day and night so the boss is happy and has time to go frolicking with his wife

Bhalla: and we don’t even live together I haven’t seen her since the day he challenged her

Devasena: … I didn’t realise you were getting lonely. Sorry kiddo. Wanna come over tonight? Movie and dinner?

Bhalla: yes please. I’d like that very much thank you.

 

Amarendra to ‘roman holiday is better than breakfast at T’s’: 1 week down.

Amarendra: when is the surprise

Indira: check your email. I did it before midnight.

Bhalla: oooh oooh lemme get my email too

Devasena: am I marked as well

Indira: you’re the ceo ofc you’re marked bitch

Indira: text me when you’re revived after the fainting sessions

 

[Amarendra has renamed the group chat ‘what the everloving hell’]: how did you do this

Bhalla: my mail isn’t working guys what did my goddess do

Amarendra: she has a preliminary contract drafted negotiated and signed with SoarHigh

Bhalla: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Amarendra: “!!!!!!!!!” is right. These terms are unbelievable. Show me signed docs and emails to prove you’re not pranking me

Indira: check the email after that- subject line is ‘trust in god, check everything else’.

Devasena: Indira this is impossible.

Indira: and yet!

Devasena: no this really is impossible

Devasena: we cannot offer settlement terms and compensation benefits on this scale

Indira: we aren’t. they are.

Indira: the compensations go out before the transfer happens. Read it again.

Bhalla: damn! she’s right.

 

Indira: hey boss

Amarendra: yes ma’am

Indira: what do you think of the force majeure clause

Amarendra: a work of art

Indira: see how I snuck in subcontractor violations into the assignment and lien terms?

Amarendra: I adore your brain

Bhalla: I adore your brain too

Bhalla: I wanna partyyyyyyyy. Weekend at the LifeLine carnival guys?

Amarendra: Indira has plans, I believe.

Indira: damn right I do.

 Indira: also, professional respect feels good! i could get used to this!

Amarendra: i'm charging the new printer to your salary, did i tell you that? 

Indira: damn you baahu

 

\-------------


	7. chubby cheeks, dimple chin, rosy lips, teeth within

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to write them ganging up and teasing Bhalla together.  
> Warning for a lil weird spooky stuff toward the end. if you don't want to read that, stop at "Inside Out."

Indira to ‘Married idiots and a power couple’: Deva who’s your dentist?

Devasena: Who is asking exactly?

Indira: Bhalla’s getting wisdom teeth and its Hilarious

Devasena: aw baby do you need your paediatrician??

Indira: give him a lollipop after a shot

Devasena: rub your lil bum and pat your head

Bhalla: ill rip out my own fucken teeth like a man

Devasena: bhalla, what have we told you about toxic masculinity?

Bhalla: *ill rip out my own fucken teeth like a monster

Indira: #accuratereplacement

 

Indira: the appointment is three days away and I cant bear the pain

Amarendra: I thought baby brother was having the unnecessary teeth

Indira: and he’s groaning about it all day my ears are ringing

Bhalla: hey it hurts okay?

Devasena: I know how it is, I had to have teeth pulled as well

Amarendra: ??? when darling

Devasena: when I was 8

Indira: lol

Devasena: I stopped being ExtraTM by 18

Devasena: unlike certain people in the family

Devasena: who are So Extra they grow extra teeth

Bhalla: its not like i want them!!

Devasena: hey bhalla if you lose your wisdom teeth do you also lose some of your brain/memory now

Bhalla: ha ha ha

Devasena: just asking because i'm not looking forward to teaching you to brush again

Bhalla: amee control your wife

Amarendra: bro you control your teeth

Bhalla: im calling the hotline!

Indira: the child abuse hotline??

Bhalla: you’re sposed to be on MY SIDE

Indira: sorry

Indira: ill stick with you

Indira: even if your teeth don’t

 

[Amarendra has renamed the group chat “D-Day!”]

Devasena: is that for Dentist Day

Amarendra: yes darling

Devasena: haha ok darling

Bhalla: can you go be nauseatingly flirty somewhere else

Devasena: can we darling?

Amarendra: no darling, I believe not! Are you having a pleasant day? Do you want flowers?

Indira: how come I never get flowers

Amarendra: oh no. I will fix this oversight immediately.

Devasena: I would also like some ice cream darling :)

Bhalla: …….what sinister plot are you all hatching

Devasena: we’re being

Devasena: tooth-rottingly sweet

Bhalla: -_-

Amarendra: u don’t gt any tooth-rotting sweetness bc ur teeth aldy gone!!!!

Amarendra: sorry that wasn’t properly typed. I really wanted to get my joke in before the conversation changed. :D

 

 

Amarendra: hey I have a plan

Amarendra: let’s all go together

Devasena: ugh I cant make it, you two take him

Indira: fine by me

Bhalla: I can go by myself????

Amarendra: no way! We’ll stand by you Bhalla!

Bhalla: …?? out with it!

Amarendra: they’ll give you meds and you’ll be loony and I want to record the whole thing

Bhalla: fuck off im going alone

 

 

Devasena: guys!! Whats happening!

Indira: going in

Devasena: I. Want. Updates. Constantly.

Devasena: this is a night for generations!!

Amarendra: boy is sulky tonight.

Amarendra: im pretty excited, ill be honest

Bhalla: you do know I can see these

Indira: whoops

 

Indira: ok got his phone

Amarendra: its been 15 minutes

Amarendra: deva can you get here in half an hour or so

Devasena: ugh no I would give the world to be there babe but no I cant

Devasena: live text me

 

 

Amarendra: boy’s out

Amarendra: AND HE LOOKS LIKE A CHIPMUNK

Devasena: fat cheeks?

Amarendra: SO FAT

[Indira has sent a picture]

Amarendra: this is revenge for _years_ of being the Skinny Kid

Devasena: babe you were fine you weren’t Fat

Amarendra: but he was Always thinner

Indira: stop texting sheesh I thought you were getting the car dude

Amarendra: yeah yeah getting it just wait a bit

Indira: he’s smiling loopily at me he’s going to launch into PDA right here if you don’t get a car NOW

 

Devasena: ??

Indira: he’s singing the national anthem

Indira: and thinks he’s singing along to the radio

Indira: which, incidentally, is Not playing the national anthem

Amarendra: he’s got good tone you must admit

Devasena: are we getting this on video

Indira: of course

Amarendra: a biker crossed us and our boy just yelled “are you deaf”

Devasena: ??

Devasena: OH ARE YOU BLIND

Devasena: god I wish I was there lol

 

 

Amarendra: we’re getting ice cream

Indira: meaning, he’s getting us ice cream while my man and I stay in the car

Indira: because we’re Not sharing this entertainment with the world

Indira: without making any money off of it

Devasena: and there’s that penny-counting brain I know

Devasena: do you still have his phone tho?

Indira: yeah but he’ll soon ask for it

 

Indira: deva

Indira: deva this is good shit bro

Indira: he got his ice cream                                                                                                    

Indira: and he wants to face time it

Devasena: what why

Amarendra: he wanted to Instagram it and he forgot the words

Indira: oh my god he pointed his phone at the sundae and asked siri to open facetime

Indira: oh my godddd

Devasena: and then what?!

Indira: got distracted by the front cam and now is admiring his own haircut

Devasena: god I wish my husband would get a few teeth pulled

Amarendra: ????? woman!

Devasena: what you don’t even get funny drunk you just get emotional drunk and then you kiss my shoulder

Indira: that’s weird. Why is it weird

Devasena: because he cant ever aim with his lips and he bites my sleeve most of the time

Devasena: clings to my arms like a wet kitten

Devasena: its embarrassing

Amarendra: its endearing

Devasena: ehhhhhhh, jury’s out

Indira: oooooooooh that was a cold one!

 

Bhalla: cold one

Indira: he’s flicking through the emojis now

Indira: oh we’re all going to be hit in 3..2..1

 

Bhalla: [][][][] me

Amarendra: yes I also think that the benchpressing man is very much like you

Bhalla: big yes

 

Indira: Bhalla what emoji am I babe?

Bhalla: trumpet

Indira: do you want to use your emojis maybe?

Bhalla: [][] no XXX

 

Devasena: do I have an emoji Bhalla baby?

Bhalla: [][]

Devasena: and why am I a skull and crossbones?

Bhalla: you pirated amee 4m me

Bhalla: stole

Bhalla: theif

Devasena: aw no baby he’s still yours

Bhalla: amee

Bhalla: amee is nice

Bhalla: amee gave me ice cream [][]

Bhalla: but I have no money

Bhalla: amee I will pay you !!! don’t be poor by me! I pay you bac

Amarendra: how bro? you don’t have any money. How will you pay me?

Bhalla: [][] I kiss

Amarendra: you’ll pay me in kisses?

Bhalla: ya

Amarendra: ……

Devasena: he says thank you!!

Devasena: don’t you, darling? :)

Amarendra: tbh id rather not

Devasena: Is that so, sweetie? :))))))))

Amarendra: I mean, yes, of course, I would like very much to receive kisses

 

Indira: deva we’re home when do you get back

Devasena: omw traffic is a huge line

Bhalla: I cant geel my mouth

Bhalla: but I think its huge

Bhalla: is everybody’s mouth huuuge?

Indira: no babe, only yours

Bhalla: im big

Amarendra: you’re boring is what you are

Indira: Baahu be nice, he’s in pain

Bhalla: I am pain !!!!!!!

Amarendra: sorry

Devasena: can one of you come open the door

Bhalla: I come!!!

Indira: no

 

Indira: text me when you two reach?

Indira: oh! deva wait you left your bag behind

Amarendra: turning around, be there in 2

Devasena: augh drat can you bring it to the door?

Indira: sure im on the porch

 

Indira: hey

Indira: sorry to bother you

Indira: but the time I was waiting outside for you,

Indira: Bhalla wandered to the shoe closet and tried on my shoes and fell

Indira: can one of you stay with us tonight?

Amarendra: sure but why your shoes

Indira: not to sound facetious but I think he wanted to be taller

Devasena: he’s Lanky how tall does he want to be?!?!

Amarendra: I think he’s been jealous ever since I matched his height

Amarendra: teenage jealousy coming out to bat now

 

 

Devasena: I miss you guys

Indira: actually you should have stayed here too?

Indira: he’s sleeping anyway, we could have had a sleepover there's the extra guest room

Devasena: you mean it?

Amarendra: yeah come over we’re only baking anyway

Amarendra: she’s cleaning and im baking

Devasena: im getting Inside Out

 

Bhalla: the night demons sway in front of my eyes and laugh at my mortality, clenching their pincers, dripping bloodied muscle everywehere

Devasena: what the FUCK

Indira: loony texting deva, there are no monsters here

Devasena: do you live in a fucking haunted house

Indira: no no we d

Devasena: where is the rest of that sentence

Amarendra: help it scomgin for m

Devasena: I swear if you’re all messing with me right now I will kill you

 

Bhalla: the monster is not appeased by sinful men it calls for innocent blood

Devasena: what the fuck are you on Bhalla

Bhalla: red all over

Devasena: OPEN THE DAN DOOR

Amarendra: coming, darling! :)

Devasena: come quicker!! Why didn’t you answer my texts11!!!

Indira: we were trying to see how fast you could drive

Indira: 5 minutes 17 seconds. New record!

Devasena: and where are YOU??

Indira: bhalla’s bedroom, don’t come in, im trying to put him to sleep again

Devasena: and what the fuck were those texts?

Indira: his therapist told him to write about his nightmares

Devasena: this is Not the Way to do That

 

 

Amarendra: he’s up.

Amarendra: picked up his phone. Unlocked.

Amarendra: 5

Amarendra: 4

Amarendra: 3

Amarendra: 2

Bhalla: lmao what happened last night

Devasena:  if there was a Bhalla-phrase that ^ would be it

Amarendra: I think not

Amarendra: I think it would be “bro do you even _Know_ what lion king means to me?”

Indira: can yall shut it im tryna sleep

Devasena: why didn’t you sleep last night

Indira: bugger wanted to text you more nightmares

Indira: I stayed up stopping him

Devasena: i owe you! im relieving you of babysitting duty right away

Indira: yeah ily too

Indira: but srsly

Indira: b quiet

 

  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> do you want to leave a comment maybe? :)


	8. Navaratri and Garba

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some Navaratri shenanigans. this got out of hand very quickly. hi @fiera! :)

Indira to “Mahi & F.ly”: um what does the group name mean?

Amarendra: B-) 

Indira: yes we can see you are proud but what does it mean?

Amarendra: Mahishmathi and Family

[Indira has renamed the group chat ‘im stuck in Gujarat w baahu! rescue me!!’]

Amarendra: hey!

Devasena: your imagination is dead rip. I'm on her side tbh

Amarendra: hey!!

Bhalla: when was it alive

Amarendra: hey!!!

Indira: do you have anything else to say??

Amarendra: hey!!!!!

[Devasena has renamed the group chat ‘Say hey one more time’]

 

Amarendra: I was thinking we could celebrate Navaratri

Bhalla: do tell me

Bhalla: what is it ppl do for Navaratri

Amarendra: pray, dance

Bhalla: … garba is not traditional for us bro we’re this side of the equator

Amarendra: whats ur point

Indira: eh whatever im in

Devasena: me 2

Bhalla: fine me too

Devasena: is that how **you** say it

Bhalla: it is now

Devasena: no

Devasena: say it like you used to say it before you changed it to impress Indira

Indira: omg lemme see

Devasena:  Bhalla- Indira is in, me too wht about u

Bhalla: …….. me three

Indira: sheesh what am I dating omfg

Bhalla: it rhymes what do you expect me to do!!!!!!!

 

Amarendra: ill get the woods

Indira: ???

Amarendra: I get dance wood

Indira: ??????????? im NOT dancing with you

Amarendra: no you hit them

Devasena: lol hes talking about dandiya sticks

Indira: dude omg baahu one more strike and you’re OUT of this group

 

Bhalla to Devasena: so

Bhalla: dancing huh?

Bhalla: it’s a lot of fun

Bhalla: :)

Bhalla: lots of people coming

Bhalla: dancing, yeah…

Devasena: ok ill teach u so you don’t go there n embarrass urself

Bhalla: oh thank god. ily sugar :D

 

Amarendra to Bhalla: do u know to dance

Bhalla: sure I do

Amarendra: will you teach me

Bhalla: ugh you’ve got 2 left feet bro

Bhalla: cover my meetings for Friday and ill do it

Amarendra: sure, thanks :)

 

Bhalla to Devasena: I need you to teach me v v quickly

Bhalla: I have to learn before Friday morning

Devasena: why the rush tho

Bhalla: I have meetings on Friday running into the weekend I have to learn before that

Devasena: sure my man’s out of town until Friday. Come to our place after work today

Bhalla: sugar you’re the best

 

Bhalla to Indira: babe

Bhalla: weekend plans?

Indira: nothing its only Tuesday

Bhalla: wanna drive out to the mountain ranges with me for a 3-day vacay?

Indira: sure! XD

Bhalla: I’m bunking work so don’t tell amarsena

Indira: oh my god my ship name caught on

Bhalla: :) love you babe

Indira: I love you too!!!!!

 

Amarendra to _‘Step Up six- Now With Sticks’_ : guys lets get clothes

Bhalla: said the first caveman

Amarendra: don’t be an arse bro

Amarendra: I want that jacket thing and the salwar

Devasena: omfg kurta

Amarendra: okay you can get that if you want

Devasena: no you wear a ‘kurta’

Amarendra: no I want salwar only

Devasena: lmao pls

Indira: ill take him, we’re in Vadodara anyway

Devasena: yes thank god

 

Amarendra to ‘I’m **wearing** mirrors’: these weavers are so talented honestly

Devasena: show me

[Amarendra has attached a photo]

Indira: Deva I bought lehengas for you too!

Amarendra: I chose them

Bhalla: okay……that seems fake……but okayyy

Devasena: im sure they’re very nice :))))

Indira: no he didn’t, I did, he drove me there and stood by with lassis while I chose

Devasena: oh thank GOD

Amarendra: do you not believe in my fashion sense? I expect more from a wife.

Devasena: no, I am happy that you did not get dehydrated :)

 

Devasena to Bhalla: whatd u say

Bhalla: what

Devasena: why did my husband just call me and say he’s not up for the Navaratri idea anymore

Bhalla: why would I say anything!! Why is it you suspect me??? All the time????

Devasena: tell me or class is cancelled

Bhalla: okay fine

Bhalla: I told him he looks like a girl, wearing all that flowy ballooning clothes and mirrors ....and dancing in them

Devasena: guess what you’re wearing

Bhalla: pants.. ??

Bhalla: DEVA NO

Bhalla: I refuse to debase myself in this unfashionable manner

Bhalla: I can see you read my texts!!

Bhalla: no mirrors for me I have a REPUTATION in this city as a punk

Devasena: yours will be in lime green. My husband will wear a respectable blue.

Bhalla: please

Bhalla: no

Devasena: you mess with him you mess with me

Bhalla: well you don’t live with me I decide what I wear!!

 

Indira to Devasena: I did it, I had the staff pack away all his clothes and shipped them to your house,; but why did I do it??

Devasena: we’re teaching your boy two lessons.

Devasena: first - to stop bullying through codified gender-based norms of appearance

Indira: oohh that’s a big one

Indira: did he call your pantsuits boring?

Devasena: nope!

Indira: asked you if me having short hair meant I was bisexual?

Devasena: nope!

Devasena: he did that?

Indira: both, yeah…

Indira: anyway whats the second lesson?

Devasena: To Not mess with me or mine.

 

Devasena to Bhalla: Update. Minor change in your wardrobe.

Bhalla: what is it.

Devasena: no lime green. You’re wearing neon pink.

Bhalla: !!  I feel like I should apologise now

Devasena: I feel like you should vomit out all your societal beliefs of masculinity

Bhalla: sorry?

Devasena: what are you apologizing for??

Bhalla: I dunno?

Devasena: idiot lol

Bhalla: can I go back to lime green

Devasena: no :))

 

Bhalla to Amarendra: got home?

Amarendra: yeah bro

Bhalla: practice tonight , its not difficult

Bhalla: And Don’t forget any!

Amarendra: not bloody likely to. You taught me four (4) moves.

 

Amarendra to Indira: hey

Indira: yes boss

Amarendra: you can math

Indira: reasonably, yes                                                                                            

Amarendra: if I have 4 flowers, and I want to show them in different ways

Amarendra: is it 4!3!2!1! so 25 combinations, or 4 squared so 16, or 4^4 so 64 cominations?

Indira: ….copy me on the dance floor you’ll be fine

Amarendra: HOW DID YOU KNOWWWW

Indira: im a lawyer. I know things.

Indira: also that math was ridiculous

 

 

Amarendra to Bhalla: How is it your girlfriend knows everything?

Bhalla: beats me. How does yours?

Amarendra: not one clue.

Bhalla: cool.

Bhalla: practice those moves.

 

 

Indira to ‘ _Do you think Beyonce would do garba_ ’: oh

Indira: oh god

Devasena: um what ?

Indira: I came here early and I think I see…

Devasena: what! do you see

Indira: Amarendra

Indira: dancing with

Devasena: don’t pause like that!!!!!!!!

Devasena: who is he dancing with

Indira: Kattappa

Devasena:  impossible

[Indira has attached a photo]

Bhalla: get it on video love

 

[Indira has attached a video]

Devasena: im honestly so impressed

Bhalla: by?? There’s a lot to take in

Devasena: maybe the fancy clothes.

Devasena: maybe my husband’s Jewellery? (I can see one chain of mine in that ensemble idk about the others)

Devasena: but I also like how happy they look

Bhalla: I personally vote for Kattappa’s brilliant idea of using a turban to hide his baldness

Indira: omg get here soon please

Bhalla: be there in twenty. Sugar’s dressing.

Indira: cant wait to see you

Bhalla: cant wait to Die

Devasena: calm down

Bhalla: wont

Devasena: childish

Bhalla: girlish

Indira: please. Stop bickering.

Bhalla: fine.

Bhalla: but promise me, if you love me at all, swear upon your love

Indira: ???

Bhalla: that you won’t laugh at me

Indira: ?? I promise??

Devasena: omg he’s such a drama queen

 

Amarendra to ‘Sticks and stones may break my bones’: ah that was a great night

Devasena: I had prabhu take pictures

Amarendra: ah that was an average night

Devasena: I think he might have taken videos

Amarendra: ah we’re never doing this again!

Indira: chill bro you were fine

Amarendra: … I didn’t know how to dance :(

Devasena: you were fine honestly chill

Devasena: someone else on the other hand

Bhalla: hey it takes a man very secure in his masculinity to rock some pink!!

Indira: yep he’s still p drunk

Devasena: lmao fantastic

Bhalla: what WAS in it though

Bhalla: im thinking cocaine

Amarendra: omg drugs?

Bhalla: no bro that’s a _watch_

Bhalla: of course cocaines a drug u wee baby

Indira: which he’s never done

Bhalla: ofc not

Amarendra: are you agreeing or disagreeing

Bhalla: with what

Amarendra: that you’ve never done it

Bhalla: I disagree its

Bhalla: no I agree ive nevr

Bhalla: no im not saing anything until I talk to my lawyer

Bhalla: _@_ Indira love that’s u :D

Indira: yes. Yes it is. Good night everone.

Amarendra: but whaat about the drugs

Devasena: they’re bad for your health. End of topic. We don’t keep talking about them like a bunch of junkies. We’re respectable people.

Amarendra: yes

Indira: im thinking uve done some

Bhalla: yes also methinks thou dost protest too much!

Amarendra: so you can’t figure out if you say yes or no but you can quote Shakespeare

Bhalla: I was quoting Thor from avengers what u talking bout

Amarendra: figures

Devasena: good night.

Indira: good night.

Bhalla: that was a verrrrrrryyyyy good night ;) ;) ;) ;) 

Amarendra: but did you do the drugs?

Bhalla: shut up

Amarendra: i still dont know if you did the drugs.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> do you want to leave me a comment? :)


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> random stuff

Indira: We need to appoint a new accountant firm. These people are ripping! us! off!

Devasena: who'd you have in mind

Amarendra: oh no my moneyyyy :O

Indira: idk anyone who's not these idiots will do

Bhalla: it's bad enough we have to pay taxes

Indira: oh, do you pay taxes

Indira: i didnt know

Indira: i guess i forgot

Indira: because you havent mentioned in the last 3 minutes

Indira: oh wait, you did

Bhalla: but! we doooooooooo

Devasena: why wont you pay taxes happily!!!!!!??/

Bhalla: why should i deva

Devasena:.... i dont know how to explain to you that you should care about other people

Bhalla: have you considered: I don't like it???

Devasena: have you considered, idk:

Devasena: JAIL???

Bhalla: fine

Bhalla: but i want you to know, the govt is stealing my money

Amarendra: -_-

Amarendra: please, tell us more, of how you struggled penniless as a child while the taxman snatched taxes out of your beggar hands

Indira: hey you leave my immoral conniving boyfriend out of your teasing, baahu

Amarendra: ya he twerked hard for his billions

Devasena: he waS A STRIPPER? HOW DID I NOT KNOW THIS

Indira: i would refute this, but i admit it's kinda believable

Indira: like, he would be a classy stripper

Bhalla: im lost why do you think i twerked, baahu- and babes wait a minute why does twerking translate to stripping for yall

Indira: twrking-> dancing -> stripping its a v logical processs

Bhalla: fair

Bhalla: but @baahu why do YOU think i twerked for money

Amarendra: it is a hustle

Amarendra: you know, the hard hustle

Devasena: whos gonna explain

 

 

Bhalla: i have a theory

Bhalla: i pay taxes

Bhalla: and the government takes my taxes and spends it

Bhalla: and we colonized a bunch of countries so in apology we're paying repatriations

Bhalla: so my money... goes to uplifting a whole lotta people

Bhalla: basically

Bhalla: i am a sugar daddy

Indira: that thought sequence was amazing i cant even be mad at you rn

Devasena: ya but we kinda separated from them its more like divorce

Bhalla: wait IM PAYING ALIMONY?? IM NOT EVEN MARRIED YET

 

Amarendra: im okay with that, like we did wrong, so we gotta do right now

Amarendra: anyway, independence day is coming up

Bhalla: what year count is it?

Amarendra: we've been free of Jolayari for 356 years

Bhalla: we been free for 356 slutty, slutty years

Amarendra: this is the country you're talking about! have some . god.

Bhalla: have some what

Bhalla: cuz we seem to have enough to pay alimonies! XD

 

Amarendra: so i know our anniversary is tomorrow and she and i want it to be low this time

Amarendra: you dont have to do anything, let's keep it quiet- dinner and a drive, thats quite enough

Amarendra: dont want a big party, you guys.

Bhalla: ...ok

Devasena: what. did. you. do

Bhalla: nothing

Indira: uh can you guys not go home tonight, maybe sleep in the office?

Devasena: im driving home. now.

 

Devasena: why is my house coveredin confetti

Devasena: its Everywhere

Devasena: its really sweet of you two to do this, but really, this is Too Much!

Indira: !! i was in charge of decor and my bf on food

Devasena: gdi theres soap in the fridge and cans of beer in the sink

Devasena: Bhalla what are you doing

Bhalla: my best!!!

Bhalla: dont yell at me i thought id have time to fix it before you guys went home

Devasena: and there's a cat. i hope to god it's yours, Bhalla.

Bhalla: say hello to Minnie :)

Amarendra: issok deva listen dont panic we'll return the cat its okay, its not a big deal

Devasena: I LOVE HER WE'RE KEEPING HER

Amarendra: ok....i guess ???

Bhalla: i knewwwwwwww you'd love her <3

Devasena: clean my sink before you say another word to me you spineless freeloader

Bhalla: ?? so mean!

Devasena: buy cat food on your way here

 

Indira: im so excited for you two! Colombia!

Indira: its really good for an anniversary vacay

Indira: its not sappy like paris or rome

Indira: have fun!

Bhalla: yea

Amarendra: i think brother dear has a question

Bhalla: ....yeah

Amarendra: shoot

Devasena: god this is going to be gold, i can feel it

Bhalla: yeah so you're gonna be in GMT-5

Bhalla: and we're gonna be here which is GMT+5

Bhalla: so when we call each other does the + and - cancel out and we'll be on GMT time exactly?

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey, you. yeah you. write a comment.


End file.
